Congrats, you are a bridesmaid. Agreeing to be a bridesmaid is like signing on for a full-time, unpaid job and knowing your responsibilities. It is really fun to a bridesmaid and that can suck at times too. A bridesmaid isn’t an actual maid, but sometimes people (including the brides) seem to forget that. Still, if you’ve been chosen to be in the wedding party, you need to put in some money and effort. Here’s what to expect in the months leading up to the wedding. Here are the jobs that you’ve signed up for and the ones you cannot dare to escape.

9 TASKS YOU HAVE TO DO IF YOU’RE A BRIDESMAID (No Other Choice)

If you don’t want to do any of these eleven tasks, respectfully decline when you’re asked to be in the wedding party.

Buy an expensive bridesmaid dress—and don’t complain about it

Though some brides will cover the cost of the dress, it’s generally expected that each bridesmaid pays for her own dress, within reason.

Show up for the wedding—be the first one to reach

Damn it. Unless there’s a death in your immediate family or you go into an accident, you better be at the ceremony and reception, and you should be dancing.

Plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelor’s party

This is the most painful task to do. The maid of honour is in charge of all the parties, but bridesmaids are expected to have creative ideas, give opinions, help decorate, throw in cash, and arrange everything needed. If you’re on a limited budget, be upfront about it.

You are not allowed to miss on anything

You need to attend all the parties, dance rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner and even the salon appointments. The bride can demand anything and you can not ignore her, you should do your absolute best at every event.

Pay for all your expenses as nobody would pay much attention to you

You might be travelling back and forth for shopping, appointments and other countless stuff. You need to pay for most of the conveyance. Be ready for that.

Listen to a little bit of everyone

The bride apparently can’t complain to her groom without sparking a fight, so it’s your responsibility to have listening ears. Aunties will keep asking you random questions and you can not give a shut up call so good luck with that!

Help choose the bride’s dresses

Choosing a bridal can be a very confusing job to do. You need to make sure that nobody gets offended by the choice you make. You need to play a bit politically here.

Pay for “extras” at several points

There are a lot of minor expenditures that might get neglected by the families and could make the bride unhappy. You know what you need to do now. Get your wallet and start spending to make her happy.

Help the bride shop, even her furnishings

This could be hectic. Roaming around in crowded markets with the bride and her family for no reason just to keep the bride motivated is a really bad option, but you cannot do anything about that.

Help the bride with a few wedding-related tasks. The bride can’t order that you to address invitations, choreograph the dances, go shopping, arrange a good make up artist etc, but it’s not absurd of her to ask if you’d mind granting a hand. Being a bridesmaid is a really tough duty but in the end it is the most beautiful job that you can get (if they start to pay you).