WEDDING RITUALS – NOW AND THEN

Wedding rituals have always been big part of Pakistani weddings Though now there has been amendments in the rituals. Mainly because it’s a modern age and lifestyle of people now is very different from what it used to be. Our big fat Pakistani weddings sometimes take weeks to finish because they consist of soo many back to back festivities.

RASAM OF NO MAKEUP ON MAYOUN –

THEN: Back in the day, desi brides were asked to sit mayoun days or weeks prior to their marriage. She wouldn’t leave the house, leave oil in her hair, wear really plain clothes, and definitely NOT wear makeup.

NOW: It is impossible to sit at home when your wedding is so near. All the preparations are being finalised till the very last moment. Sometimes your dress still needs alteration, parlour or find a new makeup appointment because your regular artist fell ill. There is no time to take a breather, least staying at home doing nothing is out of the question. What you can do to honour this rasam is to avoid wearing makeup these days.

SAATH SUHAGAN/ MITHAI KI RASAM AT MEHNDI FUNCTION –

THEN: Another major part of the mehndi is for family and friends to come up to the bride groom, take some dry mehndi and place it in a  decorative leaf which the bride and groom are holding, and feed them sweets. This is done for successful and happy marriage life.

NOW: This rasam is still commonly done. The only difference that not just the traditional sweets are used, but also, different chocolates and bunties or even fruits are also fed to the couple by all the female friends and family.

WEARING FLOWER JEWELRY –

THEN: Brides were supposed to wear flower jewellery instead of real gold or any other kind of jewellery before wedding. So on their mehndi or mayoun there is a rasam in which close family and friends put the flower earring and other ornaments on the bride.

NOW: These days brides don’t really like wearing flower jewellery. There are new kinds of jewellery which have become a growing trend. Flower jewellery is also there. Usually, the flower bracelets are worn by the bride and also given to the VP girls and female relatives.

JOOTA CHUPAI –

THEN: Joota chupai is a playful tradition where the bride’s sisters and girlfriends ‘steal’ the groom’s shoe, and get him to pay them for its return. But it’s really just supposed to be this playful back-and-forth between the bride’s girls and the groom’s posse.

NOW: This rasam is still widely seen at Pakistani weddings. Not only the girls but now even the younger male cousins or brothers and some close male friend participate in this playful rasam and get the groom to pay. This is done just for fun and to keep everyone lively.

APPLYING HALDI ON THE BRIDE –

THEN: This is one of the oldest rasam in which all the female relatives or at least the close ones are supposed to rub turmeric paste (Haldi) on the bride. essentially her arms, legs and face. Bride is suppose to wear yellow clothes. This is done so that the bride’s skin would naturally glow on the wedding day.

NOW: Brides of today usually find this rasam weird or some people are actually allergic to it. In that case, instead of applying it all over the bride’s arms and legs only some of the paste is applied to brides face. Or sometimes lightly applied on the hands and feet. The female relatives and friends take turns to do that.

DOODH PILAI –

THEN: It’s when the sister of the bride feeds the groom milk again obviously for the money. After the groom drinks the milk, he’s supposed to fill up the cup with money and give it back to his sister-in-law!  It, too, is supposed to be a fun little back and forth!

NOW: This rasam is still done in its full swing. Now a great deal of attention is paid to the cup used for this rasam. Special cups are being designed or sometimes customized especially for this rasam of doodh pilai. Also, the plate of this cup is kept is also excessively decorated. People have also started using flavored milk instead of the traditional plain one.

DULHAY KA RASTA ROKNA –

THEN: Another old rasam to create a bit of tug of war between the friends and family girls and the groom. It is a playful rasam in which they stop the groom from reaching the bride. This is usually done from the groom’s sister or cousins when the bride gets home after ruksati. They don’t let the groom reach the bride until he pays them good amount.

NOW: Now usually even the bride’s sisters, cousins and close friends do this rasam of stopping the groom from reaching the bride’s side. It is often done before ruksati or jointly with the groom’s girls after ruksati if bride’s cousins and friends go to the groom’s place to see her off.

AARSI MASHUF –

THEN: It is the first time where the bride shows her face to the groom after the Nikah. The couple see each other in the mirror and the bride unveils her face that she keeps hidden during the Nikah. It was very common in olden days since there was no concept of love marriages, moreover people were more conservative only the parents used to see the bride or the groom before marriage.

NOW: Your groom has probably already seen your face plenty of times, and even during the nikah cause you may be sitting next to each other, so this rasam is likely just done for the symbolic purposes and a great photo opportunity. Most of the times this rasam is ignored.

MON DIKHAI –

THEN: It is the gift given by the groom to the bride on their wedding night. As it used to be, apparently, the bride would be sitting on the bed with a full gunghat and to see her face / lift her dupatta, the groom would present her with a gift.

NOW: Thats a very old school way, now the mon dikhayi is usually given after nikkah when the bride comes and sits with the groom or when the couple reaches home after ruksati. It is given in front of the family now usually.

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